Whatever
by Makemegray
Summary: Originally a submission for an RPG but I liked so so I posted it here. Rei contemplates life and whatever else comes to mind. Drabble.


(A/N:This was a submission from an RPG that I'm a member of and I really liked what I did with it. The only thing significantly different from the Cannon is that Rei has an alternate personality that works for the Dark Kingdom, which the previous person who played Rei added on. She's also been secluded inside the Hikawa Jinja for about three years or so to explain the absence between when the previous person played her and when I took up the mantle. It's likely going to be the first in a series of BSSM drabbles so...You've been warned...)

* * *

It wasn't that Hino Rei was unhappy about her life that kept her running back to her old friend Jack on a semi-non-stop basis.

She knew exactly how it was supposed to turn out of course. She would serve her Princess and her kingdoms and all of the things she'd been irrevocably devoted to for several thousand...whatever.

She was technically cheating, she supposed, being able to divine the future, but that wasn't the point.

The point was, the thing that kept her drowing her sorrows in liquid reliefe was the way she felt about her destiny, her fate, her...whatever.

She felt betrayed by everything that had made her Hino Rei. By everything that made her Sailor Mars, the ruler of her planet, Protector of Neo-Queen Odango-atama and...stuff.

She wasn't logically thinking through it all like Ami,

She wasn't chasing every boy who resided in the universe like Makoto,

She was drifting fron fad to fad of the moment like Minako,

She didn't have some wierd dysfunctional family aspect to help her through it, like the outers,

And she sure as hell didn't have this wonderful man-of-dreams destined for her and fated for her and...whatever like Usagi.

All she had was herself and Antares.

The conniving, self-riteous, manipulative, best friend she's ever had.

Antares knew her innermost thoughts, her innermost secrets, her innermost...Whatever!

She judged, she sniped, she bitched, yet she was the only one who had ever been truly honest with Rei and for that she was indespensible.

So as Rei finally got the nerve (or the blood alchohol level) enough to leave her relative hermit-ness (whatever-ness) at the shrine and got back to her duties as a senshi, as the Princess of Mars, as the protector of ...what the fuck ever! It was Antares that was really owed the credit. She didn't, of course, do it for the benefit of the things she was irrevocably dedicated to by her blood bonds, but rather for the sake of the information her other-self owed to her superiors.

She couldn't really say that she felt guilty about plastering on that fake smile and those fake tears as she was joyfully, welcomed back into the fold like she hadn't been MIA for a lengthy period of time.

All she really felt was that it was a huge load of...you know, whatever,that they pretended that anything she did had effect whatsoever on their lives.  
Fukutaicho of the inner senshi, huh?

That didn't seem to amount to much really.

If going back meant helping Antares help her masters topple the Lunar Court once and for all, would it really make any difference?

Ami had her logic,

Makoto had her boys,

Minako had her clothes,

The others had each other

and Usagi...

Usagi had her man.

Her wonderful, prefect, brilliant, chivalrous, ruler of Earth and...whatever,

They'd be fine. Totally fine.

What would she be left with?

Nothing.

Absolutly nothing.

She'd be non-existant, really.

There was nothing left for her.

Yuuichiro would take care of the shrince and as for school...well, the government had taken care of that little obligation already (Failed and...sigh whatever.)

She really didn't care either way.

Antares could have her body to any little sinister plans or...whatever, that she may have and Rei would simply fade into the subconsicous as the Antares had for centuries before.

The only thing she seemed to be useful for anymore anyway was deception and infiltration.

She didn't mind really.

In the end it all amounted to...whatever.

She supposed she was technically cheating, being able to divine the future.

But the only one besides herself who would ever really be privy to any of that information, didn't really give a damn.

Rei supposed that it was a godd thing that her alter-ego happened to be a bitch.

One of them had to keep a clear focus on things when the russians supplied her with liquid anti-stress treatments.

Maybe her body had some use to it after all.

She didn't know.

All she knew was Antares was absolute hilarity in her current line of thought.

She wondered if it was considered crazy to tell your evil alter-ego to shut the fuck up.

Probably.

Whatever.

Like any of it really matters anyway.


End file.
